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Wednesday 19 July 2017

Unable to Look Foreward...

During my travels through the length and breadth of India, in search of a good PhD position, in a scorching summer I reached IIT Ropar, Punjab six years ago. Behind me is a tributary to the River Satlaj flowing not very quietly, through Rupnagar.

Sitting in a lonely, forest bound village, today I recollect my hard travels without any hope nor enough money in pocket. Were those travels worth given the present situation? Don't know how my long cherished dream of a research career faded away! Is there a coming back? No idea. Things sometimes slip away from the grips. What's waiting for me ahead? I don't know. We don't know anything, we act as if we know everything.

May be I was born to be at where presently I am. I'm ignorant, I am a moth flying around a candle bound to perish there itself; not knowing that there is a huge dark world outside. There is a comfort associated with light that kills us eventually. Darkness is fearsome but full of adventures and gives eternal life. Let me dive into the unexplored dark world. Give me strength O Allah! Yes I see darkness is beautiful. No one see us and we don't see anyone! Am I fearful, no.It feels like exploring the universe leaving behind all the bonds with earth, the mother, broken bonds become my wings just like broken umbilical cord.